Ten things only cat owners will understand
Owning a cat can be one of the best and equally frustrating times of your life. It probably started with a dream of cuddles and friendship, but below are ten very honest realities that only those who own a cat or kitten will understand:
1/. A full nights sleep is a luxury.
Not only will 4am be the perfect time for your cat to sit on your head while you sleep, it will only come after it has run laps of the house at full speed, as loudly as possible, at 3am.
2/. ... yet they can sleep for 90% of the day on everything but the bed you bought for them.
Seriously, after they've demanded breakfast 30 minutes before your alarm is due to go off, they disappear until dinner time, choosing the most awkward places to sleep.
3/. When they are asleep, it's usually somewhere that you are likely to trip and fall to your death.
If you're buying a cat and you have stairs, be prepared to learn some kind of acrobatics, or at a minimum how to perform a parachute roll. It could save your life.
4/. Your furniture is a much better toy than any scratch post.
Nothing beats the £50 king size cat tower and scratch post you bought that the side of your couch. Leather? Material? Doesn't even matter! As far as your wee furball of joy is concerned, it's all suitable.
5/. ... as is the box your furniture came in.
You'll spend ten quid on new toys for your cat only for it to be more interested in the box it came in!
6/. Your cat can spot a bird from across the yard but can't find the treat you dropped 3 feet away without you pointing to it ten times.
The same rule applies for the mouse you saw running along the skirting boards. Unless you throw your treat directly on the cat, there is a chance the mouse will find it first.
7/. They're only likely to sit on you while you are working, studying or need to go to the toilet.
The dream was to buy a kitten to snuggle on the couch with you while you enjoy the latest episode of The Good Wife on Netflix. The reality is that you don't make the rules in this relationship. They can sense when you need to do something and the withdrawal symptoms set in.
8/. They aren't that fond of water, unless you are in the bath, in which case it is worth the risk.
Just be prepared. When they fall in they're lunging for whatever part of you isn't submerged, claws out and ready to be saved.
9/. You and your feet aren't the same thing. Feet are an imminent threat which needs to be dealt with.
You're going to need a bigger duvet. Your feet are a target and you're most exposed when you're trying to sleep in the middle of the night.
10/. When they show you their belly, there is a 50% chance they want it tickled, and a 50% chance they will bite your hand off
It builds trust and a stronger bond, but you may need to stock up on first aid supplies.